Dear Obama – Please Hike Up Your Skirt

What do you get when you cross a screech owl with a rattlesnake?  Why, Hillary Clinton of course.  Now, how did so many of you get the right answer so quickly?

I guess there’s no sense in asking what you get when you introduce a Kenyan National to 1960’s American radicals like Bill Ayers, but that’s who is sitting in the Ovulating Office.  This president is so timid, with an ego so fragile it needs stroking on an hourly basis.  Here we are, faced with enough intelligence to close 35 embassies, and he decides to go on the Tonight Show to schmooze with Jay Leno instead of addressing the nation.  PR does not mean public relations, Mr. Obama.  It’s called presidential responsibility, of which you have none, nor do you give us any reason to believe you’ll “grow” any during your remaining days in office.  The clock you should be monitoring is not for your remaining days in office, but instead, until the time you are impeached for dereliction of duty and abdication of responsibility.

Contributing Author Dan Bubalo. Rumor has it he has a direct line to Vladimir Putin and Oprah. Two soup cans and a string of course, to thwart the NSA.

First, your inability to take decisive action against a fellow Muslim with respect to the Fort Hood Massacre is inexcusable.  Don’t hide behind your supposed law degree and say the legal process must run its course.  Don’t call it a “workplace incident.”  The jihadist just opened his self-defense by admitting he killed 13 people and wounded 32 others on behalf of Allah.  Case closed.  Trial over.  Use your abuse of executive privilege to have the guy shot by a firing squad this afternoon.  You like working outside the lines of the legal process, you enjoy bypassing Congress, so show some brass.  Call an end to the trial instead of giving a terrorist a platform to advance the cause of radical Islam.  Excuse my redundancy; there is no such thing as radical Islam.  “Islam” says it all, just like the way you pronounce the name of the country we call Pack-is-stan.  To a good muslim boy, I guess that country becomes PAH-kee-stahn.  Remember when you traveled there as a student at Columbia when Americans were forbidden from going there unless they were a foreign national?  Oh, wow.  If you actually went there, that means you weren’t born in America, correct?  Or, would it mean you lied about your ethnicity to receive privileged treatment for admission to private universities?  Or, does it mean you just can’t handle the truth and live a life of lies?  I’m not sure.  There’s never been a president before you who has a “body man” named Reggie Love.

These inconvenient facts are just like everything else, aren’t they El Presidente?  Benghazi is just a “bump in the road”, nothing more than a “side show”, the results of your own jihad on the United States you qualify as “phony scandals.” Your puppets like Elijah Cummings tell us to just move on as if he’s addressing rubberneckers at an accident scene.  Well, sorry.  You’re running low on fuel and nobody’s coming to your booth at the carnival any longer because you’re finally being seen for what your really are.

Separately, I have a question.  What’s your golf handicap, not that any of us will believe it.  You have sanctioned numerous pictures to be released with your feet on government furniture as a symbol of how you regard the country, there are numerous pictures of you scratching your forehead with your middle finger, as if nobody can see through that façade.  So, why no pictures of your golf swing, for you’re willing to have yourself, wife, and daughters mailed into the press ad nauseuam?   My guess is you can’t hit a ball out of your own shadow.  I’ve seen footage of JFK’s golf swing.  You’re not JFK.

On what might you wish to leave your imprint?  You have approximately 1200 days left in office, short of impeachment, so how would you like to be remembered?  As the Drone-Strike-King?  For screwing up the delivery of health care?  For getting the goods on a Supreme Court Justice thanks to Fourth Amendment violations and extorting a vote for new taxation under the guise of “affordable health care?”  Oh, and by the way, how does it feel to be punked by Putin?

The American press for reasons unknown to me has given you a pass, but you cannot labor under the assumption nor hide from the fact that foreign intelligence sources do not know who you are or from where you were manufactured.  There has been no credible news reporting as to why Putin has insulted you and our country, but it doesn’t take an advanced degree to figure out why.  Why?  Because they have the goods on you.  So does Israel, and that’s why you run like child if you have to meet Netanyahu.  It’s why The Vlad makes you come to a meeting wearing Depends.

Do you think he really cares you won’t attend the G-20 conference?  Of course not.  He just smacked you in the face again and you’re too afraid to do anything about it.  Cuba knows who you really are.  China knows who you really are.  The Japanese aren’t too pleased, and the punk in North Korea has the same intel.

That’s why you have no sway, and that’s why our country is being dismissed like a bloated guy at a prom dance.  Much has been made about the violation of our sovereign rights and the NSA spying on citizens.  What’s been conspicuously left out of the conversation is that our country gets spied upon, too, and in the relentless intelligence gathering of the opposition, they unabashedly have pantsed you, you know they have, and that is why you show up for every international event carrying a pea-shooter instead of a pistol.

You’re a mockery, and we’re all going to have to wear the sweater for your weakness.

There are remedies, but I believe you too weak to embrace them.  You could develop our own resources instead of impeding their development.  By doing so you would energize the economy.   If you energized the economy you could depart office as a legend, as a hero, but you do not have that capacity, nor will your ego permit it, so we must ask the ugly question as to why.

You don’t love this country.  We’ve had bad presidents before, certainly more capable than you, but they were just bad administrators with bad ideas.  They weren’t necessarily bad people.  (can you hear me, Bill and Jimma?)   So what’s it going to be?  Let’s get off the teleprompter.  Let’s get off the talking points.  Quit stuttering  when you don’t have a lackey feeding you lines, and for God’s sake, quit going on the Tonight Show.  Popularity isn’t the goal, Scooter.  Leadership is.  You have a golden opportunity in front of you provided you can prove who you pretend to be.

Man-up or hike up your skirt, but do something for the nation.

And that nation isn’t Saudi Arabia.