Obama’s BRILLIANT Economic Plan

Well…I’m not exactly sure WHAT to say. I am STUNNED by the depth and breadth of Obama’s knowledge of economics.

Finally, yesterday, he made a clear and concise statement regarding his plan to fix the economy.

Oh, it’s late in coming but, better late than never…Right?

Obama was in Minnesota, speaking to liberal voters who, naturally, hang on his every utterance, and he substantially cleared up his, up to now, foggy approach to the nation’s struggling economy.

It seems to me that I MIGHT have to take back every bad thing I have said regarding his economic prowess over the years for truly, we are in the presence of greatness.

Here is what he said, word for word.

“I assume there are some folks here who could use $3,000 a year. Let’s get that done right now.  That means they’re — you know, if you got $3,000 a year extra, that helps you pay down your credit cards. That helps you go out and buy some things that your family needs. Which is good for business. Maybe somebody will be replacing some thingamajigs for their furnace. They’ve been putting that off. but they got that extra money, they might just go out there and buy that thing.”

If people would just heed Obama’s sage and well researched advice and buy…”THINGAMAJIGS”… for their furnaces, why, everything would be just skippy.

“Thingamajigs.”

He said “THINGAMAJIGS.”

The $3000.00 to which he refers would come from the Mortgage Refinancing initiative he sent to congress which, if you remember, he championed in his last State of the Union Address.

Well, at least we hope it was the last one.

Anyway…

According to Obama, the program would be paid for by…ummm…“a small fee on the largest financial institutions will ensure that it won’t add to the deficit.”

HELLO SOCIALISM!!!!

This is yet another attempt by Obama to redistribute the wealth. In this case, he would soak banks because they have more than their fair share of money and give it to those who he feels have less than their fair share of money.

Such a program would increase the risk of government backed loans and, as this is going nowhere fast in congress because only the hardest core socialists there can see it as workable or prudent, don’t expect to get a check for $3000.00 any time soon.

That of course means that people will have to find some other way to buy…”THINGAMAJIGS”…other than with somebody elses money.

Because we’re heading into summer, one could easily believe that any furnace in dire need of a…”THINGAMAJIG”…probably got one installed last…winter.

Personally, I think buying a couple of DOOHICKIES or a WHATJAMACALLIT or two would spur the economy more than a furnace…”THINGAMAJIG.”

Just to be clear, before I proceed, BUSH was the one liberals always called an idiot and OBAMA the genius.

Now, had George W. Bush told us to buy…”THINGAMAJIGS”…HE would be up there with Einstein.

Obama and his liberal minions are currently trying to portray Romney as unqualified for the office of president based on his years at Bain Capital. That of course would be rendered null and void as an argument if Romney would come out and advocate the purchase of “WIZBANGS.”

Clearly, being a community organizer is the highest qualification achievable in seeking the oval office while being a former Governor and a Captain of Capitalism is, well, just silly.

Over the last 3 years, Obama has spent BILLIONS of tax dollars on solar DEALIES and wind WIDGETS but, alas, to no avail, THOSE companies just keep going bankrupt. Furnace…”THINGAMAJIGS”…though…now that just has to be the winner. Doesn’t it?

The problem is that almost ALL the affordable furnace…”THINGAMAJIGS”…are made in China where Job Czar, Jeff Immelt, moved the GE…”THINGAMAJIG”…division. Those actually made here, like award winning green energy light bulbs, cost 20 times as much.

While there ARE a few WHATZIT and THINGY plants operating in the U.S. they have been laying off workers left and right due to high corporate tax rates and excessive, unsustainable union pension entitlements.

DOOFUDDIES?

Could DOOFUDDIES pull our economy out of the blue funk?

No. Sadly DOOFUDDIES can NOT be the answer as DOOFUDDIES require fossil fuels to run them and the EPA would surely regulate them out of existence. There WAS a DOOFUDDY plant that was proposed to be built out in the TOOLIES but, after 16 years of studies it was determined the location was the ONLY habitat in the world for suitable for the 2 democrats with a NOBAMA bumper sticker on their un-bailed-out FORD EXCURSION who live there in their PAID FOR home some 353 miles from the nearest polling place.

They can NOT be disturbed.

So much for DOOFUDDIES.

Even as Obamacare seems likely to be struck down by the Supreme Court, it’s not at all hard to picture…

A 2000 page bill which would have to be passed to find out what’s in it, forcing upon a suspicious public a…”THINGAMAJIG”…mandate requiring us all to buy one for our furnace whether or not we want one. Oh, we’ll be told that if we like the…”THINGAMAJIG”…we currently have…We can keep it but…We all know better…Don’t we?

This will all, eventually, foist a 31 year old Georgetown Law Coed into the mix, before a specially convened congressional committee to demand…Free furnace filters…as a part of the package because the cost of being…in heat….is too great to bear.

There will be wrangling between ideologies…Those who stand with furnaces and those on the other side of the aisle…The air conditioner crowd. One’s gender selected offspring will of course be allowed to stay on their gay married parents utility bill until they are 26 and no preexisting conditions, like, poor insulation will prevent one from buying a…”THINGAMAJIG.”

Whether or not this works, whether or not it turns our economy around, one thing is clear…

It’s not every day you hear a DINGLEBERRY tell you to buy a…”THINGAMAJIG”…but yesterday…

One did.